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Born Again Bisexual
By Carman Bradley
Dennis
Altman, author of The Homosexualization
of America, The Americanization of the Homosexual, noted the dilemma the
bisexual poses for gay and lesbian theorists.
Commenting on the biological basis for homosexuality, he writes:
There is a political problem here:
the great advantage of the idea that homosexuals are ‘born, not made’ is that
it suggests the condition is unalterable, and the identity innate. There is certain comfort in being able to
assert, as does Alec in Mary Renault’s The Charioteer, ‘I didn’t choose to be
what I am, it was determined when I wasn’t in a position to exercise any choice
and without my knowing what was happening.[i]
The
greater problem with the idea of a discrete homosexual identity is that it
ignores the large numbers of people who are both behaviorally and emotionally
bi-sexual and therefore ambivalent about how far to adopt a homosexual
identity. This ambivalence leads to
their being attacked both by gays concerned to strengthen the idea of this identity,
and by “experts” who seem affronted by ambivalence. Thus the psychoanalyst Hendrik Ruitenbeck sees bisexuality as the
refuge of “those people who are unwilling to face up to their sexuality as
part of their whole being.”[ii]
Marjorie
Garber, in Viceversa, offers an
explanation for the value of the notion of orientation “conversion” in the
so-called “sexuality wars.” The word
“conversion” seems to recur with great frequency to describe changes, or
supposed changes, in people’s sexual orientation. The word, recalling Paul’s experience on the road to Damascus,
calls up something that happens when one is already on a road, producing an
inner change of direction, a reorientation, a turn. The appeal of the conversion metaphor lies in part in its narrative
clarity: “I was this, but now I’m
that. I was blind, but now I see.” However, observes Garber:
The
mutual exclusivity of the two moments, figured as blindness and truth, would
seem to preclude the possibility of so called ‘bisexual conversion.’
For
her, in “most cases of blindness and insight, the truth may be slightly more
complicated.”[iii] One further convenience of some
conversion stories is the instant invalidation of an inconvenient past. There was “before” and then there is
“now.” Apparently, if you believe in
conversion, the two stages need not have anything to do with each other. Writes Garber:
The fact that several mid-level
figures in the Watergate scandal underwent highly publicized conversion
experiences, becoming ‘born again’ and dedicating themselves to the pursuit of
sectarian virtue, was widely seen as an appropriate cleansing gesture that
wiped the moral and ethical slate clean.
For related reasons conversions in prison are not uncommon, nor do I
mean to imply that they are false or insincere. But conversion is, to use an overworked word, ‘binary.’ It draws a line. It is not interested in questioning the existence, or the moving
nature, of the borderline.[iv]
Elaine
Pagels, author of Adam and Eve and the
Serpent, observed that:
...converts as Justin,
Athenagoras, Clement, and Tertullian all describe specific ways in which
conversion changed their own lives and those of many other, often uneducated,
believers, in matters involving sex, business, magic, money, paying taxes, and
radical hatred. Their own accounts
suggest that such converts changed their attitudes toward the self, toward
nature, and toward God, as well as their sense of social and political
obligation, in ways that often placed them in diametric opposition to pagan
culture.[v]
One
should note that Paul and many Christians did not ask to meet Christ, they were
seemingly pursued - God hunted them down.
However, the immediate question is: Does God convert one to
bisexuality?
Against
a backdrop of conversion ideologies, Garber cites the recent development of a
button declaring the wearer to be a “born-again bisexual.” Many persons have written memoirs or
appeared on talk shows to explain how they used to think of themselves as gay
or straight and now think of themselves as bisexual. But the nature of these personal adjustments does not, by and
large, present itself as exclusion or denunciation, or a rewriting of the whole
personal narrative. Rather it tends to
take the form of inclusiveness, what a formerly gay man now involved with a
woman described as finding the other half of the human race attractive. It was not that he had lost his interest in
men - not at all. But he was now involved with a woman.[vi]
“I
know now I’m bisexual,” a woman may say.
To such statements, Garber says, “But these are not conversions.”
Conversions are not rheostats but on-off experiences. They are often, in the secular world, motivated by considerations
we could call political, such as solidarity, heterosexual privilege, a decision
that certain life activities, like having children, belong to a world that is
hetero- rather than homosexual. On the
other hand, in the spiritual world, conversion could be motivated by issues of
faith, by a belief that homosexuality and bisexuality are against God’s
law. Says Garber:
These days conversion narratives
are often closely related to the whole question of sexual labels and of
catagories of identity.[vii]
The
stereotypical sexual conversion narratives can go either from straight to gay,
or from gay to straight. Garber
concludes that the notion of legitimate bisexual conversion crashes against a
power boundary - the “People’s erotic investment in the institution of
marriage.”[viii] The collateral impact on the
institution of heterosexual marriage from the legalization of say bisexual
marriage would be enormous. But more
surprising to the heterosexual observer, are the consequences of full
legitimacy of bisexuality within gay and lesbian communities. Garber writes:
’Just
a phase’ - it’s what many parents say and hope when their children tell them
they’re gay, lesbian, or bisexual. But
bisexuals are also accused of going through a ‘phase’ by many gays and
lesbians, who consider that there are really only two poles, straight and
gay. Once they grow up, the idea seems
to be, they will know which one they are.
Until that time they are waffling, floundering, vacillating, faking,
posturing, or being misled by dangerous acquaintances. Bisexuality thus gets defined as
intrinsically immature, as, in a way, the very sign of immaturity, and
bisexuals are urged by many gays, as well as many straights, to put away
childish things.[ix]
Writing
under the subject, “Fluidity of Sexual Preference,” in their book Dual Attraction, authors Martin S.
Weinberg, Colin J. Williams and Douglas W. Pryor explain the impact AIDS has
had on the orientation of bisexuals.[x] Given that AIDS has been called a
“gay disease” and that bisexuals are widely thought of as carriers of the
disease, could the disease change a bisexual preference? Was their dual attraction fixed, or could it
be given up easily? If so, were they
“really” bisexual? All these questions
reflect on the wider question of the adaptability of sexual preference to
environmental change. What is
changeable and what is not? Weinberg
found that the major change for the bisexuals was their avoidance of men -
particularly bisexual men - as sexual partners. Women were especially likely to do this.
I wouldn’t sleep with
bisexual men at this point and I would have in the past. [Why?] Because they could possibly be
carrying the [HIV] virus. It seems
risky to sleep with men who have been sleeping with other men. (F)
It’s been comforting
to be able just to relate to females and I feel that’s an easy and valid option
and a safe one too. (F)
Weinberg
found not only did bisexual women reject men as sex partners, but to a lesser
degree bisexual men did as well.
I’ve stopped having
sex with men. AIDS was a big
reason. It was just not worth it. I was afraid that women would not want to be
involved with a bisexual man. My
identity as a bisexual has diminished as I don’t act on my bisexual feelings.
(M)
Since I feel flexible
in my sexuality and can choose between genders, I’ve made a conscious effort to
choose women and avoid the AIDS problem. (M)[xi]
Thus
the AIDS crisis forced many bisexuals to examine their sexual preference and to
make choices. They were more aware of
the flexibility of their choices, at least insofar as their sexual behavior was
concerned. All aspects of the
bisexuals’ sexual preference seemed to be touched by the emergence of AIDS:
their frequency of sex; their number and balance of same sex/opposite sex
partners; their view of sexual pleasure versus intimacy; their choice of some
sex acts over others, and so on. And
this has occurred through factors in the social environment that Weinberg
described as involved relationships, group ideologies, group support, the
sexual politics of minorities, and the wider community in which they became
involved. In sum, says Weinberg, “AIDS
had sharply increased the importance of environmental factors.”[xii]
Weinberg
also found many other reasons bisexuals gave for changing their
orientation. He writes:
…deciding that the heterosexual
label more accurately fit them; problems of self-acceptance; a result of
undergoing therapy; a spiritual transformation; a desire for monogamy; wanting
a traditional marriage; and having a baby.
This last case is instructive as it shows how a change in sexual
preference can be affected by a typical life event, which is often underrated
in academic theories of sexuality.[xiii] Where in Scripture is lifestyle space given for bisexuality or flexibility in sexual preference?
Copyright © 2008 StandForGod.Org [i] Mary Renault, The Charioteer (London, Longmans, 1953), p 232, cited in Altman, p.45.. [ii] Hendrik Ruitenbeek, Homosexuality: A Changing Picture (London:Souvenir Press, 1973), p.202. [iii] Majorie Garber, VICEVERSA (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1995), p.345. [iv] Ibid. [v] Justin, I Apology pp.14-16; pp.27-29; 2 Apology; Tertullian, Apology 3. Cited in Elaine Pagels, Adam, Eve and the Serpent (New York: Vintage Books, 1988), p.10. [vi] Garber, VICEVERSA, p.346. [vii] Ibid., pp.346 and 347. [viii] Ibid., p.347. [ix] Ibid., p.352. [x] Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J. Williams, Douglas W. Pryor, Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality (New York: Oxford Press, 1994), p.214. [xi] Ibid. [xii] Ibid., p.217. [xiii] Ibid., p.222. |